She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize