My friends, they love my intelligence
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
