it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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