I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
