Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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