Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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