Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
