can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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