just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
