I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
