I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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