this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
