If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
