Umm I'm too high to move.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
