wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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