I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
