All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
