I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
