similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
