She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
