At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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