I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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