I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize