She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
