At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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