Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
