ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
