New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
