Well apparently he's into motor boating.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
