y did u give ur computer a hand job?
nutella sex= disaster
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Shame is for Republicans.
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