Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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