I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
