and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
