I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
