Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
