im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
