I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
