The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
