Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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