I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
