Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
