why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
