Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
