What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize