So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
