get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
