I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
