question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
