you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
