Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
