Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
