You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
