Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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