I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
