i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
