i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
