i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
