I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
