I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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