If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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