She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
someone owes me an orgasm
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
