Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
