watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
