Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
