about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
