office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
