Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
