last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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