GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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