I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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