4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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