i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
