Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
