Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
