This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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