He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
