found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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