I need help removing her.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
