He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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